Buddhist
Hour
Radio Broadcast on Hillside 88.0 FM
Buddhist Hour Script
323 for Sunday 4 April 2004
This script is entitled:
Dealing with Destructive Emotions
The cultivation of the mind is fundamental for our
psychological well being. For Buddha Dhamma practitioners the purpose
of our existence is to reach our highest potential, that is, Full
Enlightenment.
This introduction and the following talk are
from Teachings given by Traleg Rinpoche IX on 26 and 27 March 2004 at
the Kaygu E-vam Centre in Carlton, Victoria.
The script is
entitled Dealing with Destructive Emotions, and is based on notes
written by some of ours Members who attended the Teachings. We
apologise for any simplification or error in our recollections or the
chronological ordering of certain points recorded from the Teaching.
We thank Julie O'Donnell and Pennie White for their practise for
taking notes on what they heard and learnt.
Our other Members
who attended during the teachings were Kate Ryan, Lenore Hamilton and
Lainie Smallwood.
The teaching commenced with chanting of the
Triple Gem Refuge and a Prayer to the Kagyu Lineage.
Over the
course of the two teaching sessions Traleg Rinpoche spoke about
meditation practices to train the mind and promote positive
emotions.
He explained that the cultivation of the mind is
fundamental for our psychological well being. The purpose of our
existence is to reach our highest potential, that is, Full
Enlightenment.
Enlightenment is equated with the state
completely free from suffering.
In Buddha Dhamma it is
important to see that destructive emotions are not conducive to
wholesome mind cultivation, morality and psychological well
being.
So in Buddha Dhamma we practice cultivating wholesome
minds so that eventually we may come out of suffering.
We
should have two goals.
The Ultimate Goal to become fully
enlightened for the sake of all beings.
The Temporary Goal to
lessen or reduce the suffering of our self and others.
As
Buddhists we also have temporary goals. This is a distinction. A
temporary goal of a Buddhist person is to reduce suffering.
We
should see that suffering is a terrible thing and that to enjoy or
continue to tolerate intense suffering is a form of
madness.
Dissatisfaction is always present. We do not have the
insight to deal with all causes of suffering. We must increase our
capacity or ability to remove the causes of suffering.
Because
of external situations, we get upset. What is left is our emotional
life.
Buddhism does not see emotions and thoughts as separate.
Emotions are not rupa or a physical object.
Kalasha or
conflicting emotions tied to distorted thoughts create deluded
states.
The mind does an appraisal of what is arising but
because it has a distorted view - we come to error and create the
self.
Suffering comes from the lack of ability of the mind to
ease itself of discomfort or threat.
Human beings are fluid
and in flux, they have no fixed identity.
To deal with
negative emotions we have to NOT grasp, to not grasp we need to have
leisure. Leisure is a peaceful contented mind not going all over the
place.
Not just human beings but all beings experience
suffering in some way. To suffer is a terrible thing. That is why we
want to reduce it.
Our life when suffering is stolen from us…
or 'snatched' from us. We have less leisure; we need to address this
important thing.
Even when we have momentary joy and periods
of joy, there is always an underlying sense of dissatisfaction that
is constantly 'gnawing' at us.
We experience many types of
suffering because there are many causes of suffering.
We have
not the capacity to deal with the suffering. We can meditate to
develop these capacities. If we develop our capacities then we can
deal with the causes of suffering.
We cannot control all the
things that cause suffering, such as how others may act or whether
they will appreciate the things we do for them.
We may feel
let down because other beings are independent with their own capacity
for making choices.
When we are not fairing well with our
emotions our life becomes dimmed.
Darkness takes over. We feel
weighed down. Anger or jealousy causes us an incredible amount of
unhappiness.
Unlike some other causes, we are able to do
something about our emotions.
In Buddha Dhamma we do not
believe our thoughts and emotions are separate. Of course there are
differences in fine thought and gross emotional states. Though they
are not completely separate.
Buddha Dhamma practitioners do
not believe that emotions cause distortions or that thoughts
necessarily produce objectivity. From a Buddhist point of view, as
ordinary beings as we are, even our thoughts are distorted. Our
thoughts are also biased. That is why they are called 'obscurations
of the mind'.
In Buddhism the negative and positive emotions
are called something different, but the emotions are tied to negative
thoughts. We are born with this disposition. The discursive thoughts
and emotions go together. In Buddha Dhamma the training is about
correcting that.
At the moment what we need to know is that
destructive emotion and thought leads us to not seeing clearly. Even
when we seem calm we are not free from these negative emotions and
distorted thoughts.
The Rinpoche posed the question: How do
these negative emotions arise?
In Buddhism this is because of
our self-perceptions. This has two layers, innate (meaning born with)
and acquired. So that through life experience we collect ideas about
who we are and construct our identity.
The negative emotions
are aware of expressing this self-identity.
We do not always
act in the same way. There are many ways to express anger or
jealousy, outburst or rage (such as for example like road rage).
Sometimes months of planning go into strategically working out how it
is best to repel or destroy the object of one's anger.
In all
of these scenarios the fundamental reason for our actions relates to
one's own self.
There is an appraisal going on. If there were
no appraisal then we would not have negative emotions.
As
human beings we are jealous. Even if someone is sick we are jealous
how much attention they are getting.
An appraisal precedes
negative emotions. Suffering results from the emotion failing to ease
the problem. Instead it exasperates it. The reason it fails to bring
the relief is because of the nature of the self itself. This is
because we do not have fixed identities. For this reason to try to
respond to an external environment from a fixed vantagepoint does not
work because one is always in a transitional state. But despite that,
we are individual people, in flux mentally and physically in every
way we consider to be. Any attempt to solidify that state will fail
because we are always moving.
The delusory state of mind
itself keeps us trapped and has prevented us from seeing what is
fully going on.
'What is going on' is always in flux. There is
still connectivity without a fixed vantagepoint.
To know the
way to deal with our suffering we have to understand this. If we do
not we will stay in our make believe world and not come out of
suffering.
Our Ultimate goal is attainment of Buddhahood
where suffering has ceased. Our temporary goal is to lessen our
suffering.
Leisure is very important.
We do not have
leisure because samsara is cyclic existence. We are caught in cycle
of samsaric grind so there is no leisure. The leisure that comes from
realising what it is we are trying to protect and consolidate is our
own self.
We just assume there is something that is immutable.
When we look we do not find it.
This is the poverty of
self-lies in its hunger for consolidations.
The deep-seated
dissatisfaction comes from hunger of self and its need to be
affirmed. So Buddhism then says if we think of suffering that way
instead of empty it becomes enriched to become what it is because of
our fixation with our perception of what that distorted self
is.
Meditation is recommended then. You are what you
experience ultimately and what you are not experiencing you are
not.
To deal with destructive emotions we need that leisure.
We have the leisure when we are not in a state of disturbance and our
mind is going all over the place. Even if we are not attempting to
attain enlightenment right now if one wants to make one's life more
meaningful one has to address these negative emotions because they
make us into bad people. What is worse they make us miserable bad
people.
Goodness and happiness can coincide.
This
concluded the Friday evening Teaching. As with the Teaching on the
Friday even the Saturday began with chanting the Triple Gem Refuge
and a Prayer to the Kagyu Lineage.
In Buddhism the ultimate
goal is enlightenment.
Our intermediate goal is to have less
suffering and a meaningful and happy life.
To reach our
ultimate goal we have to reach our intermediate goal.
To want
a happy life is not selfish.
Buddhists do not agree that to
want a happy life is selfish because if we cultivate happiness we can
relate to others better and we can truly help them. If we are caught
in turmoil or waves of emotion we cannot help others or ourselves. We
cannot help our self or others if we are in a state of constant
suffering because there is no leisure (or good mind).
We are
constantly tormented and upset in that state, we only know suffering
and even if we have achievements if there is no understanding of self
then even famous people feel depressed or unloved.
We have to
reduce our suffering so we can make our lives worthwhile.
When
we get too emotional we are more prone to ill health, negative
appraisals of everything. So from this point of view addressing our
emotional life should be our number one concern, To have
self-recognition or awareness is different from being
self-conscious.
When we are too emotional we can't operate
effectively. We have depression and negative thoughts about self and
others.
Addressing our emotional life should be our number one
priority.
We can do something about it.
We have choices
regarding our emotional life.
They can be modified and
contained and educated through practice.
We have a wide range
of choices. We can respond with aggression in so many ways. That
suggests we are making choices.
The Dalai Lama says this is
like improving our immune system. If our immune system is good we
shake off a cold.
If we improve ourselves we will be less
likely to be affected and the impact will lessen than if we had not
developed ourselves in emotional management.
In our emotional
development positive emotions have wide-ranging positive effects,
physically, mentally and spiritually.
Negative emotions
interfere with us living our lives fully.
If we get too caught
up in negative emotions our ability to function is compromised.
If
you are gripped by jealousy then you cannot function. You get 'sick
in the stomach'. Our ability to function becomes compromised.
Other
emotions have a similar effect, anger, hatred, spite returns again
and again and we become disengaged even when we are with someone we
are not really there.
We cannot live effectively if we are
caught in our emotions.
If we are unable to give 100%, if we
are always preoccupied we are not effective and get caught up in this
make believe world and not what is really happening.
If anger
becomes a permanent trait we fail to distinguish between appropriate
and inappropriate response and so with jealousy. Anyone who talks to
our partner becomes a source of jealousy and this is an inappropriate
response when we get entrenched.
Our ability to respond
appropriately in any situation is a Buddhist insight.
If our
partner is doing something then a reaction of some sort would be
appropriate. The point here is that when a person becomes entrenched
in negative emotions they lose the ability to discern appropriate
from inappropriate responses.
Addressing our emotional life
should be our number one priority.
We can do something about
it.
There are Methods of Self-Awareness (Not
self-consciousness)
For example, choices. It is difficult to
overcome certain difficulties or propensities. We can choose to
respond in another way, such as the expression of aggression- it can
be modified.
This is an example of engaging Emotional
Management which is a means to change our situation.
Our
underlying mood lifts when we cultivate positive emotions.
If
caught up in our negativities, we cannot give people our full
attention.
To be effective, we have to be engaged.
There
are six primary conflicting mental states.
They are: anger,
desire, jealousy, pride, ignorance and doubt and
opinionatedness.
Doubt and opinionatedness are not emotions
but are cognitive.
Doubt is cognitive in nature, being two
minded, not able to decide- this is discursive and can lead to a
negative state.
Opinion is to grab on to something
dogmatically, not being open minded, too fixed on something.
The
mind, which is restless, gives rise to all sorts of emotional states
and makes one vulnerable in making up ones mind what is beneficial or
not beneficial.
Not being open-minded gives rise to hatred.
That was the list of 6 primary emotions. If we unpack the list of six
we get a list of 20 mental states. They are:
1. Anger - wrath,
resentment, spite, envy, cruelty
Anger can also be wrath or
episodic reaction. Resentment and spite are more lasting and like
disposition. Envy or jealousy is usually a response towards persons
who we consider to be our equal. We might have envy of someone's
wealth or beauty. It can be confrontational. Cruelty manifests in a
different way, it is wanting to do serious harm or pain on
others.
2. Desire - greed (avarice), instead of satisfying
needs, we satisfy wants and they never end.
Desire may arise
as avarice (greed), egoism, self-obsession (a form of attachment to
oneself.
Three negative states that are not negative emotions
relate to this. They are: excitableness meaning easily
aroused
concealment: Our desires then being up front makes dubious
means or crafty hiding ones real motives in order to get what we
want. The third is dullness: no mental clarity, then we yield to
strong emotion, we follow that without checking if it is really a
good thing.
3. Ignorance - Ignorance causes emotional
conflicts to flourish, sloth, laziness, forgetfulness, lack of self
awareness, blind faith (here say with no analysis)
Ignorance
is a primary mental disturbance. Ignorance is not an emotion but
causes sloth, forgetfulness, lack of self-awareness.
Sloth
comes from not training the mind. Neglect comes from
neglect.
Forgetfulness is not to have presence of
mind.
Whatever becomes present to ourselves, we react to
that.
Lack of self-awareness means we have little
understanding of what we are experiencing.
Lack of
self-awareness means having no understanding of where we are coming
from.
So all these conflicting states cause our negative
emotions to flourish.
If we do not do anything about our
negative emotions then they become difficult to overcome.
Pretension
is far from being spontaneous, false personas come from emotion.
Often our emotions are used in crafty and clever ways but not with
wisdom.
We develop all kinds of personas about our
intentions.
With deception we learn to lure others into our
traps.
Through shamelessness we seek to get what we want and
we try to get that no matter what.
In-consideration: we show
no regard for others feelings.
In-attentiveness: we become so
habituated in acting in an emotional way, we are not attentive to
what is happening.
Distraction: our mind is scattered, running
wild, no control over our mind is completely scattered.
Sometimes
wrath can be an appropriate response such as wrathful
forms.
Resentment comes from a feeling of
powerlessness
Desire can cause fixation- fixed on an object
until it dominates our lives - attachment.
Desires that should
be pursued: Desire for improvement, greater self-understanding, and
more intimate relationship with the world.
When desire takes
over, everything else goes out the window.
Character traits -
healthy emotions, better self-esteem, better outlook on life, better
moods.
We cannot stop them for now, but we can diminish the
impact over time.
If we cultivate our wholesome minds,
eventually we will overshadow the negative emotions so we don't have
to tackle them head on.
We overcome negative emotions because
they stop suffering, not because we have to.
The torment and
stress is too great. We get too caught up in our own head. By doing
something about it our life is made better and more
fulfilling.
Negative emotions give rise to more negative
emotions. It effects our demeanour and physical appearance. All that
is descent begins to corrode away which leads to lowering of our
moods, depression, our sense of self worth goes down.
Moral
conduct will follow from wholesome minds, for example: affection and
loving relationships.
What is entering into our head before we
grab it? Become conscious of it. Start with attraction, repulsion and
neither attraction nor repulsion.
To overcome excessive
desire, we can use repulsion of the body as a helpful method - but
don't go too far.
It introduces something new into the mental
thought patterns or the mind's focus.
Whatever is in the mind,
we can visualise the opposite.
Analysis….Impermanence.
Break down the mental image.
There are negative emotions and
mental states that are not emotions but are conducive to giving rise
to or encourage them to perpetuate.
Are some negative and
destructive emotions not as destructive?
Yes.
Certain
negative emotions encourage undesirable negative states.
Other
kinds are less destructive or in another context is different
situation may have some use or be necessary.
So with
anger:
Wrath is different from resentment, spite or cruelty.
Wrath is more episodic. If you see a farmer flogging his horse
ferociously then you ask him to stop and getting angry tell him to
stop. That is different from sitting at home and being
resentful.
Sometimes wrath can be an appropriate response. Not
to say wrath is a virtue. But being cruel or resentful or spiteful
have no function.
A strong sense of resentment comes from
powerlessness.
Not all kinds of desire are bad.
What
is unhealthy about desire is that it can cause an obsession or
fixation on the object of our desire so then the object begins to
dominate our lives.
Attachment in Buddhism does not mean
attachment to others. It means the overwhelming attachment we might
have for our house, even our ideas. When it becomes obsessive it
becomes unhealthy and so we may have to make distinction between
desires we chose to fulfil.
Desires we should pursue are the
desire for improvement and greater self-understanding and our desire
for more intimate relationships with others.
Desiring
self-improvement is not selfish from an egotistical view but is a
must.
Trying to find a life partner who is caring and not
cruel or prone to putting you down. There is nothing wrong with that.
Just because we are Buddhist we don't need to get the lowest paying
job or ugliest partner.
If we have self-presence it can
coincide with our spiritual goals. There doesn't need to be a
conflict. When we become dependent on what we desire we loose
ourselves and then destructive emotions arise. Like gambling
addiction with no regard for others feelings.
From a Buddhist
point of view, what are healthy and unhealthy emotional states?
There are subtle distinctions that we cannot put in one or
the other. It also depends on reasonableness or unreasonableness of
that response.
Building healthy emotional states builds
self-esteem and improves our moods.
If we cultivate the
positive side of our emotional life it will overshadow the negative
side which will diminish.
We do not have to tackle them head
on.
If we develop we do not need to spend more time dwelling
on the negative.
In fact dwelling on negatives can accentuate
the problem we have and we feel incapable.
In Buddhism the
emphasis is on developing the positives of course we have to notice
the negative then go on to develop the positive counter parts.
The
Rinpoche next spoke about Mind Training in the following way.
We
have to start at the beginning.
It is a developmental process,
maturing is involved.
Notice what is entering our head before
it enters. We have to learn to be conscious of that. That it the
fundamental one.
At the beginning we have to keep everything
simple.
We have three responses to things: things that
attract us repel us or things that are of no interest to us.
All
of our emotions are related to these three fundamental responses.
We
can look at whether the thought is to attraction, aversion or
indifference.
The three fundamental disturbed minds are
desire, anger and ignorance.
To overcome excessive desire
meditate on repulsiveness of the body.
The body is not
repulsive in itself; it is a help or method to reduce desire of
fixation on beauty. We visualise something repulsive for practical
purposes. Not a fundamental practical introduction to something new
into our thought pattern to shift our minds focus.
In
concluding the Rinpoche spoke about various other meditation
practices that one should practice to train the mind and promote
positive emotions.
May you come to understand the way to
manage destructive emotions.
May the Kagyu lineage continue to
flourish in this Dhamma ending age.
May you reach
enlightenment for sake of all living beings.
May you be well
and happy.
We thank the Devas and Devatas of Learning for
their help in and guidance with the writing of this script.
This
script was written and edited the Buddhist Hour Radio Team, Julian
Bamford, Julie O'Donnell and Pennie White.
References:
Based
on notes of recollections of a Dhamma Teaching titled 'Dealing with
Destructive Emotions' given by Traleg Rinpoche IX on 26 and 27 March
2004 at the Kaygu E-vam Centre in Carlton, Victoria. Australia. The
notes were written by Julie O'Donnell and Pennie White.
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